Back-to-school season can be an incredibly exciting time filled with new beginnings, fresh opportunities, and exciting adventures. It can also be a source of stress and anxiety for many children, teens, and parents alike. Whether your child is starting kindergarten or heading into high school, each new school year brings uncertainty and change. Even positive changes require adjustment, and our minds and bodies often interpret that adjustment as stress. The good news is that we are remarkably resilient. With time, support, and healthy coping strategies, both children and adults can adapt and thrive.
Recognizing the Signs
The brain craves predictability and routine. Back-to-school season brings unpredictability, with new teachers, schedule changes, different classmates, and higher expectations. Most children will settle into their new routines within the first few weeks of school. It's normal to see a temporary increase in emotions during this adjustment period. This can bring up worries about fitting in, doing well, and the unknown of it all. When things become uncertain or different, the body lets us know when something feels uncomfortable, and it may not always look like worry. Here are some examples of what back-to-school stress can look like:
Younger children:
● More tantrums and outbursts
● Increased clinginess
● Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
● Stomachaches, headaches, or “sick” feeling
● Skill regression
Teens:
● Increased irritability
● More withdrawal behaviors
● School avoidance
● Perfectionism
Parents experience the transition too. Along with managing busy schedules, they may worry about bullying, grades, friendships, or simply watching their children grow up. Children are incredibly observant and often take emotional cues from the adults around them. A parent’s job in modeling calm is not hiding their emotions, but it is showing up with vulnerability and confidence that the family can handle the stress together. Parents can help ease the transition and help their kids build confidence:
● Re-establish routines before school starts: adjust sleep and eating schedule to get your bodies used to it.
● Prioritize getting good sleep!
● Visit the school if possible and even meet the child’s new teacher! This helps children AND parents feel more comfortable.
● Keep after-school time low pressure: Kids are often on their best behavior all day at school. They release the built-up emotions and energy after getting home. This doesn’t mean they are bad, they are tired, overwhelmed, and need connection and regulation.
● Validate EVERYONE’S emotions rather than dismissing them. You could say, “It’s ok if going back to school feels hard this year. New things can be exciting and scary at the same time. We’ll figure it out together.”
● Celebrate effort in school instead of perfection
Back to school can be a unique opportunity for growth, pushing you to try things in a new and improved way. It is a good time for everyone to build healthy habits and check in with their emotions. If these symptoms last more than a few weeks, your child starts refusing school, has persistent physical complaints, has significant changes in mood, experiences panic attacks, or has difficulty functioning at school or home, additional support may be needed.
